I have been blessed with an unpredictable life.
I love it…I hate it!
I don’t believe “standard” will ever be used to describe Lani and I. We both enjoy this, but a life in the minority breeds unique insecurities. Conversations about maintaining family stability and preparing for the future make you feel unwise engaging in this free-flowing lifestyle. Insecurities surface when what you sacrifice is viewed from the outside as valuable, almost essential to living a successful life. Conversations about long-term career or financial planning are abstract. Fears and unknowns run rampant and some days I find myself craving a “normal” life. I drive by suburban family homes and envy the steady, focused march of their lives. How will I ever get anywhere this way? Will my kids have a solid start if I continue down this path? What does twenty years from now look like? It’s a head game at times as God leads us down this unique road. But…at the end of the day, week, year….life…I’d rather write a book about truly living than buy one. I’d much rather tell stories about chasing after Christ than read the journals of others who did.
I’ll take the tension of sacrifice other the sting of regret any day.